The Path Not Taken

This title sounds familiar. I think it was one of the literature subjects we had to study in school for the English subject. It fails me when I try to recall what it was. Was it a short story? Was it a poem? The actual title was, The Road Not Taken. Nevertheless, the title explains the context of what is told within the literature content. Need I tell you what I am about to blabber?

See, there are a so many points of my life, if I had not made that choice, life would be very different today. Of course, I can't reveal all here, but what I can tell is those that had lead me to where I am now, on this bed, in this small town, doing what I do now.

Growing up, most people would experience life without much choice for themselves. Especially in this community, the parents are most likely to make those life choices for you. Even so, I think I contributed to some of those decisions made by my parents. Had I not decided to sneak out that one cold night, I would not have been caught, had I not been caught, I wouldn't have moved to the other side of the world. Had I not moved, I would not have gone through the school that lead me to go to college, and next, achieved that scholarship, that was responsible for the job I am currently doing. Some may beg to differ as to these series of events happening. That one night, may or may not have determined my current position now. It's scary to think about really.

If I were to point out another event in my life, where my decision at that point of time would have changed the course of my life, I would pick one of my favourites, which led to my current love life. It was an extremely hard process, one decision had to be made after another. Pick a point, decision to choose the company to do my internship. I had four offers at that time, even the mother company of my sponsor. How did I make that decision? I had two factors influencing me. The distance from my then boyfriend and the excitement that job offered. The interviewer told me I would be travelling and have my own assignments. Whereas other companies, didn't even bother to see or call me first. Of course the other choices had its own advantages. I would be living at home and wouldn't have had to go through the hardship of renting an apartment and chasing buses that are usually already full most of the time with only the internship allowances that I had.

Yes, I chose the hardship, knowing myself, being an insatiable being when it comes to life achievements and self satisfaction, knowing I did that by myself. My first main factor collapsed right before my eyes, my then boyfriend left me for someone else and if I were to think about it, my second factor were merely a distant experience, as I am currently working in a different industry. Had I chosen my mother company I would have had the chance to learn more on our facilities earlier. Despite these main factor failing me, I can see that, had I not made that decision, I would not be engaged to the person that is perfect for me now. This ring on my finger holds a value to that decision I made years ago.

Speaking of life choices, I can see how it trails to how it has shaped my life path now. Although, one choice that I made makes me wonder to this day. Had I chosen the path not taken, would I have more drive in my life now? Would it have destroyed everything else that was stable in my life, for the sake of self-satisfaction? Had I declined that offer, would I be happier doing what I have passion for, or would I have made the worse decision of my life?

I have lived my life, choosing the braver choice, jumping off the cliff, only to be greeted with the greatest thrill of my life. Have I grown wiser that I chose the safer choice in the end? I can't say that I regret that decision. But deep in me, I can feel a longing, to know what life would have been like, had I chosen that path in life. Would I be happier? Would I be more successful? Would I have had to pay a larger price in other aspects of my life?

Those who know me well, will know what offer I am referring to. To this day, I sometimes lay at night, thinking, what if, I had gone with my heart then. Would I have fulfilled my life desires, or at least being in the right path towards it? Because now, I feel safe.....but empty inside